Christopher David McLaren

To my brother, Christopher.

Throughout the month of September, I will walk 75 kilometres in honour of my brother, who will forever be 35 years old.

Christopher was someone who could light up any room he walked into. His laugh was infectious, his love for family was pure. Tragically, he was taken from us far too soon on 24 March 2025.

Christopher was always someone I looked up to. He was strong, fierce, brave, and capable of achieving absolutely anything he set his mind to.

From the moment he passed, my world was never the same. Suddenly, I found myself living in a world without my big brother. A world where, in time, I would have to relearn how to live without him. 

Although it's only been a year and a half, it has been the longest, slowest, and hardest time of my life.

I have spent much of his absence pretending to be a functioning human without him. My heart still hurts, and everything feels like a never ending, numb, and slightly ridiculous dream. My love for him is unconditional. I feel lost, and I still find it impossible to make peace with letting him go. 

The reality that Christopher is no longer here still doesn't feel real. But it's important to talk about him. It's important to talk about mental health and wellbeing, and to remind people that it's okay not to be okay, and that no one has to go through it alone.

The truth is, I'm homesick for someone who will never come home, and that breaks me.

If you're struggling, please remember you are stronger than you know, you are brave, you are worthy, and you never have to face it alone.

While I know that taking part in Lifeline's Out of the Shadows Walk will not bring Christopher back, I hope that by sharing his story and walking in his honour, it might help someone else. If it encourages even one person to reach out, ask for help, or hold on for another day, then every kilometre will be worth it.

To my brother, Christopher, forever and always, your little sister. 🤍