Walking for the ones we lost

Walking to Remember Dylan

It has been ten years since I lost him to suicide, but there are some kinds of loss that don’t become smaller with time. You simply learn how to carry them differently. I carry your memory with me in ways I can’t explain. 

This walk is for him.

But this walk is also personal to me, because I know what it feels like to struggle with your own mental health. I’ve had my own experiences with suicide attempts, I know what it feels like to reach a point where everything becomes too heavy, where you feel completely lost. I know what it feels like to reach a point where your mind becomes so loud and your pain becomes so heavy that you genuinely can’t imagine things getting better.

I know what it feels like to hide it too.

To smile when you’re hurting. To say you’re fine because you don’t know how to explain your mind. To feel completely alone while surrounded by people.

 Maybe that’s why this walk means so much to me.

Because walking is exactly what it feels like to survive sometimes. You don’t always know where the road is going. You don’t always feel strong. Sometimes you’re exhausted, angry, grieving, or completely numb. But you keep moving.

I wish Dylan had been able to see that there could be another chapter beyond whatever pain he was carrying.

I wish he had known that the worst moment of your life doesn’t have to become the ending of your story.

Losing Dylan made me realise how important it is to notice the people we love.

Check on your mates. Check on the strong ones. Check on the ones who have gone quiet.

I want people to talk about suicide. I want us to check on our people, even when relationships are complicated. Even when someone seems okay. Even when you haven’t spoken in years.

Ask them how they are. Ask again if something feels wrong. Stay when the conversation gets uncomfortable. Let them know they aren’t a burden. You don’t need to have the perfect words or fix their problems. Sometimes being there is enough to remind someone that they aren’t alone.

I’ve been in dark places myself, and I know how important it can be when someone reaches out and reminds you that you aren’t alone.

Speaking up isn't weak

Showing your emotions doesn't make you look dumb or stupid. 

Speaking about how you feel is simply the best thing you can do for your soul. 

you MATTER

And you are worthy of life

No one deserves to feel like they don't matter and that the only way to feel at ease is taking your own life, 

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